I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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