we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
