he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
