So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They are going to name an STD after you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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