true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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