If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it was like eating out sand paper
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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