Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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