So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
