What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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