I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
