My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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