we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
