Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
