Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
