using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
