Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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