I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
