Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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