i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
