so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
