sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
