Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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