so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
