You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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