i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
