Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
