They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
