what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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