I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
