I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can I color on your dick again?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
