am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
