Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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