If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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