Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
