NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
we're so committed to being not committed
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