I don't think brook has ever known best
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
