If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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