remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
