i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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