drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
