The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
