We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
