On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
false alarm, still single
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
