What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
