so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
