the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
