my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
