actually, I'm a sock model
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
