Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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