Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
